"Black Ice"

it can't just be static anymore
i need some substance
and when the shadows have come to a halt
you can be oh so luminous
i taught you how to say good-bye
not thinking you'd use it

i think i may be starting to disappear

you have no idea what you want
but you're so good at faking it sometimes
i'm on to you

then again, i have no idea what i'm doing , but i'm waiting
and it feels like i'm holding back the choke

these blistered imperfect hands, long to be closer
and maybe the next time you hear my voice, it will be right in your ear
no secrets, no distance, no loss
listen to the love soaring from my lungs

"I Wonder How Loud That Is Without Skin"

my mouth is full of stars
there's crop circles in the carpet
with cave paintings on the wall
bones crack with out skin
at least i used to feel something

containment of this

you don't need a mirror to see that things are backwards

the heat is on
and time is flying by
but they won't find me here

the fowls will scatter to ashes
ashes that bow to flames

ashes bow to flames
and the clouds sing praise to the skies

"LifeJacket"

my mind's been racing but never erasing the countless waters

and i've torn down the dry wall and saw rubble of myself, my torn down barrier

and i'll never remember to forget my own heart and focus on other's needs

no one knows i'm bleeding out, i've made my own IV replacing me with myself

the fight inside is burning us alive

and a picture's worth a thousand words but that photo has been torn apart

now we walk on broken pavement

apologies are in order, but are never enough

take this as you will, words are never enough


words were wasted, breath was wasted

"The 7th Day"

Above the ceiling there's something better
no more will i decay
this place will outlast time

and time can be a little heavy
pushing down the scales

listen to the symphony, live the symphony
a thundering pulse as your metronome
let this pulse be your metronome

following angels and seekers
not having enough bread crumbs to get me home
everyone gets their chance to fall behind

what are you running from?
the world ends with you

"Get Vision"

Sit still, let go
Turn over your rocks, accept the pearls
The perfect picture, tear it down, you're not the one
Let grace break your heart
So you can be rebuilt
He's not done with you yet, like a child, be molded

It's easy to be a martyr
Try living
You're dared to be different
Uncover yourself
Out from hiding
Broken out from shame
Leave a legacy

Though your sins are scarlet
You can be as white as snow
Put the fire back in the fire place
Take it from the middle of the room and right the wrong

Don't step on my neck
Let me breathe

Journies

Hope the way is long.
May there be many summer mornings when,
with what pleasure, with what joy,
you shall enter first-seen harbors....
Keep Ithaca always on your mind.
Arriving there is what has been ordained for you.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts many years;
and you dock an old man on the island,
rich with all that you've gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaca to give you wealth.
Ithaca gave you the beautiful journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing more to give you.
-Excerpt from "Ithaca"- Constantine Cavafy

The end of the journey is not nearly as important as the journey itself.
I find myself replacing the word "Ithaca" with "Buffalo".
You love the hometown, but it gives you a reason to leave, and gives you a reason to come back, but don't hurry, she has nothing more for you.

Plagiarism

i know that you don't want to see me, cause you know it'll make you fall in love again. these things you say and do will get you no where, you can only run so far before you remember when we used to drive and sing our songs, all through the night until that morning'd come. we used to drive and i'd hold onto you, all through the night, there was nothing that we couldn't do. waking up at night to see your missing is something i must learn to sleep right through. tomorrow the sun will rise and life will go on, each morning brings us something new.
-"Solo Tandem Bike Ride (Forgot to say Hello)", Brian Rick (Bear Market Rally)

Truth

matthew 6:16 says

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
"

i don't care that you're straight edge.

no one else does either.

you should be doing that for the love of your self and maybe even for the love of christ, if you're into that.

so put away your shirts and your hoodies.

and just live it for you.

not anyone else.

Astonishment

"you should probably not come on saturday"
"wait, you really don't want me to come?"
"i'd prefer it"
"oh. okay"

sweeeet.
i don't need you.

Serenity

a good conversation is something i never want to end.
my throat is dry and sore, but all i wanted to do was talk, so i did, and so did you.
and we should do it again.
being comfortable means something new after tonight.

Unforeseen

I've been remembering more. Thinking back on things. Usually it's a scary thing to do, but good memories often come.

seated on rocks, holding our weight above the river.
i felt heavy, and the releasing hot air from my lips wasn't a contribution.
discussing life, the recent events, and recent feelings.
i revealed to you how songs were written about you, artwork was done, with you as the inspiration, and all the truth that i was always afraid to say, came pouring out, faster than the river beneath us.
then it happened.
it was followed by a "i shouldn't have done that".
but all of a sudden i was feeling lighter, and lighter.
the rocks didn't need to support my weight anymore, a was barely there.
i'd never been so surprised in my life.
the most unexpected kiss, that you only see in the movies.
we held hands the whole way back.

Remembrance

i met her 4 years ago.
i haven't seen her in 2.
she has songs written about her.
she's been remembered on my skin with permanent marker.
she just came back into my life.
it's nice to remember.
it's nice to remember a friendship.
it;s nice to remember a crush.
it's nice to reflect.
it's nice to hear, that she shared all the same feelings that i had.
it's nice.

Randomized

i think a lot in the shower